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If you want to know true joy, get a chorus together with your friends and have them sing on your song.

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How I Quelled the Mutiny

Scoundrels and ruffians
Sharp knives and insolent grins
We shipped a whole crew of them
For we were due to sail and I feared not them
With their shirking and grumbling
The very moment that we lost sight of land
Coarse, foul and quarrelsome
Sharp words and flogging are all they understand!

They sought to murder me
Whispered of mutiny!

So out came our weaponry
Any man who came aft of the mainmast would be shot!
But if they came peaceably
All of this bother, for my part, would be forgot

And so I went to their quarters, alone and unarmed, and spoke softly and compassionately to them, for I knew well and at first hand the miseries of a sailors life: The swindling innkeepers, the ceaseless brutality, and the terrible vices which they are so quick to fall prey to. And I offered them forgiveness and said a prayer that brought the hardest of them to tears.

Through this emergency, I conducted myself calmly
Faced down their villainy, stood up to their infamy
Calmly and bloodlessly
I quelled the mutiny
We shipped as enemies
And parted as friends.

credits

from How I Quelled the Mutiny, released July 6, 2020

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The Invincible Vacuum Cleaner Co. Alameda, California

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